August 2017
summer in washington, dc can give you the blues. i told mom and dad we should get away for the weekend: enjoy some fresh air, disconnect, commune with woodland creatures. and so here we are, on a trip to lost river, wv. i was promised adventures and all the sniffs.
friday, august 4
mom and dad furiously finish packing. i packed the night before [okay, mom packed for me because 1) i do not have thumbs and 2) i am not allowed to counter surf]. we all exercised this morning and ate a good breakfast so that we’re not “wiggly monsters” in the car.
11:15am. finally in the car. i am a road warrior; they are a mess. see?

why we can’t take a normal family picture, i will never understand.
we like to travel together and listen to podcasts and sing along to showtunes while we drive. dad steals my harmonies. jerk.

12pm: we detour to the woodstock brewhouse for lunch. they have barbecue and a patio that i’m allowed to sit in. dad had some pulled pork and sausage sliders. mom and i shared some brisket.
one of the tricks to our travels is packing some extra towels. sometimes, places allow pets but the area does not have any shade. mom and dad have gotten very clever at
rigging tents for me, but i usually prefer to be out and about, looking at the people and letting them look at me. i also like to flirt with waitresses. i am a lady’s pup, after all.
1:15pm: we get lost so it takes us a little longer to arrive than expected. someone needs to refresh her map-reading skills. we rented the hideaway through airBnB. it’s awesome, and very welcoming to pets. they left treats for me, and there’s a dog bed and an extra leash and a ball chucker toy. i spend two hours sniffing everything.
investigation in process
dad is starting to unwind
3pm: mom and dad leave to see what’s happening at the lost river general store. i settle in for a nap. i wish they had brought me because they said the people were very nice and there was ice cream. i love ice cream and i only get to have it on the most special occasions. vacation is a special occasion.
4pm: they return and we rest on the screened-in porch. mom and i take a nap.
6:15pm: mom and dad leave to go to dinner at the guesthouse, which is just around the corner. while they’re gone, a big, scary thunderstorm comes through. i cannot believe they have left me in a strange place by myself during the apocalypse. this is not the adventure i signed up for.
8pm: between rain drops, mom and dad come home. they feel bad for leaving me during the storm. we snuggle and i get to eat some apple because i was a good, brave boy while they were gone.
9:35pm: last pit-stop of the night. i investigate for bears. none sighted… yet.
saturday, august 5
8:04am: time to get up and start our big adventure day. the big, scary storm took away most
of the heat, and there’s a breeze on. mom borrows a long-sleeved shirt from dad because it is chilly. it is going to be the perfect day for a hike. but first, breakfast. i choose to dine al fresco this morning.
9am: after being a little lazy, mom and dad go out to get their breakfast at the lost river grill, and then they go to the farmer’s market without me. this wasn’t the plan. i was supposed to go, too, because it is dog friendly. so much stuff here is dog friendly. i love it.
10:21am: we figure out which trailhead we will pick up, pack our backpacks, and head out for our big hike. mom did not bring my backpack, so she has to carry my stuff. lost river state park is over three thousand acres of wilderness and animals and campers. we take the white oak trail up to cranny crow overlook.
11am: it is a four mile hike, out and back. i lead the way and set the pace (doesn’t it look like dad is running to keep up?). dad walks me up. mom walks me back. we encounter horses on the trail, which i think are either the biggest dogs i have either seen, or dinosaurs. we also meet other hikers who tell me what a nice boy i am (duh). while we walk, we sing songs and talk about serious things like what else is brown and sticky, other than a stick (answers: horse poop, mud, old bananas, the apple we left on the counter overnight, avocados that have been in the fridge too long. you get the idea)? at the summit, we stop for water and protein. dad has a nut bar; i have cheesy treats. it is a great hike.
1pm-ish: we are back at the car and i get a good brushing and pat-down to make sure i have not picked up any critters on the walk. all clear! the plan was to go to a pond next so that i could do some swimming, but i am too tired. maybe swimming tomorrow?
1:21pm: back at the hideaway. we have showers and snacks and a lazy afternoon.
4:42pm: mom and dad start preparing for dinner with the ingredients they bought from the farmers market. i help dad man the grill.
5:30pm: we eat our dinners outside and i get to have a bite of steak because i was such a good boy today.
for the rest of the evening, we read books (mom) and comics (dad). as for me, i am turning in early. only one more day of vacation. boo.

sunday, august 6th
8:04am: i am a routine-machine. the sun is awake and so is my tummy. time for breakfast and morning hunting for bears. it is still very chilly outside and today it is also grey, so i think we will not be able to do swimming.

9am: mom and dad leave for breakfast, and i begin my end-of-vacation sulk.
10:09am: mom and dad come home. they begin to pack up bags and wash dishes. we finish digesting breakfasts by reading on the screened-in porch. no one is eager to get on the road, least of all me.
10:57am: dad is loading up the car and mom is doing last checks. i am buckled in to my flight suit and acting grumpy. we lock the cabin and return the key to its hiding spot. we will be visiting dad’s parents on our way home, which will break up the ride and delay the real return to reality.
best. weekend. ever. until the next one.
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